Tag Archives: butterscotch martini girls

Snarky Even in Death – Confessions of a Writer @TinaGerow

grim-reaper4When I die I want to be cremated. I don’t want the guys to spend money on a funeral. I’d rather they have a big party.

BYOB and munchies and invite all of our friends and family. They can tell funny stories about me and remember me with a laugh rather than grief. They can drink and eat and have a good time and know that I’m there watching them have a great party!

And Darian Gerow has promised to dress up as the grim reaper, complete with scythe!  🙂  So hold him to it, everyone!  🙂  Full black hood and the whole deal!!

And I don’t want to sit on someone’s mantle somewhere in an urn so I have to be dusted. I told them to sprinkle me somewhere, or I saw an ad where you can be nourishment to grow a tree 🙂  How cool is that??

I’ve attended many funerals and they were sad and grief-filed and depressing. I want people to laugh and know that I’m off causing mischief on the other side plotting for my next life!

Now don’t think I’m planning on this any time soon. Hell, death has tried to get me a few times already and so far I’m winning the fight 🙂  Mwaaaahaaaaa! But I know someday it will finally come for me. I’m not scared of dying…although HOW I die does concern me a bit. I’d obviously rather go in my sleep peacefully.

When I was in my 20’s I always joked that I’d like to go having hot sex. But I don’t want to do that to poor Jon! How depressing to have your wife die during sex!!

Already passed the brain blowout so gotta find something interesting yet painless and possibly even funny so the people at my party will have something else to crack up about.  And they’ll know I would’ve enjoyed the jokes!

Just make sure there’s lots of butterscotch martinis flowing, Kayce Lassiter, Cheyenne McCray, Bev Petrone, Christ Eaton, Lisa Pietsch & K.T RobertsThe Butterscotch Martni Girls, can raise toasts to me and know I’m making snarky comments and toasting back!!

So there’s my weird confession. I know some people will think this is totally odd. But for those of you who know me well, you’ll probably nod and say, “Yup – Totally Tina”  🙂


Pirates 3, Martinis and Girl Talk

(Originally posted May 26, 2007 on www.ButterscotchMartiniGirls.com)

Pirates of the CaribbeanWow – another week has gone by. They just don’t make weeks like they used to!

Anyway, I’ve had my head buried all week working on editing Into a Dangerous Mind so my agent can resell it. By about 3pm, I was in danger of my brains oozing out my ears. But then, Isabella called me and asked if I wanted to meet at Claim Jumpers for Milky Way martinis and dinner.

Gee, that was a hard call. Sit at home and make great headway on my editing, or go meet her for some girl talk, dinner and Milky Way martinis.

Well, I’m sure you know which won out 🙂

After dinner, we walked across the parking lot to get Starbucks, which is right next to the movie theatre. Because, of course, we can’t be near a Starbucks without buying a chai tea latte! It’s a law of nature. And the Starbucks is right next door to the movie theatre, where they were displaying posters for Shrek 3 and Pirates 3. So, Isabella–aka the bad influence–asked if I wanted to go see Pirates. Hmmm, I debated on that for all of about four seconds before jumping on that band wagon. And we got there at the perfect time. We bought tickets, took our chai tea lattes inside, walked into the theater and found great seats – all on opening day of the movie.

The movie was awesome – I won’t give away any spoilers here, but I heard (after I got home, of course) that you should stay until after the credits. Now I’m bummed because I’m not sure what we missed!! So, if you go see it, you can tell me! But there were awesome special effects, and there was only one 5 minute part that I thought was weird and should’ve been edited. Think the “white” part – you’ll know what I mean when you see the movie.

While we were waiting for the movie to start, we were listening to the high school girls sitting behind us. They were a riot – and we heard several lines that were cracking us up 🙂 So, here’s a few of my favorites…

– On my annoying scale – you’re about a 9 right now!

– I went out with this guy who really liked me, but I really liked his best friend better.

– There’s absolutely nothing as good as watching a movie with your friends on a Friday night… Unless it’s getting to kiss that hot new guy in Chemistry class.

– I don’t see why you always think you’re right. We both know I’m always right, so since you disagree with me, you’re obviously wrong.

– If my butt looked like that, I’d show it to everybody!

On that note, I’m headed off to bed. Talk to you next week!