Tag Archives: kink

Tina Gerow Gets Kinky

Did you learn anything from writing your book and what was it?

rosie-odonnell-dan-akroyd-exit-eden-movie-1994-photo-GCI learned a LOT about the BDSM and kink community.  My Obsession is my first book involving those, even though I’ve written and published several other very erotic books.  The main thing I learned was that their motto for their lifestyle – especially for the Dom/sub (D/s) relationship is “Safe, Sane, Consensual”  In other words, whatever they are doing must meet those parameters   The sub actually has a LOT of power in that equation.  They set soft and hard limits beforehand and have safe words they can use to stop everything on a dime!  I know we’ve all heard jokes etc about safe words, but they really are used.  And those Doms who ignore them aren’t good Doms!  By the same token, those Doms who manipulate, guilt or otherwise coerce a sub to go along with what they want are NOT good Doms.  Like a lot of people I just figured you pretty much gave up all of your say so if you agreed to be someone’s sub. And that a safe word was a last ditch thing, only used in the most extreme circumstances.

I also learned about a whole bunch of kinks and fetishes that I have now added to my “No Way in Hell” list.  Everyone has different levels of comfort, and I’m definitely not on the pure “vanilla” side of things, but some of those just make me cringe.  I don’t want to get into too much detail since I just ate, but one of the big ones that made me shake my head and wonder why the hell anyone allows it is anal fisting.  WTH???  If you aren’t sure what that is, it’s exactly what it sounds like.  Someone inserts their entire hand in someone else’s anus and then makes a fist and, well….you get the idea.  I know friction against the prostate gland for men can be very pleasurable and many women enjoy anal sex, but a fist???  Let’s just say, even the biggest guy I’ve ever been with wasn’t as big as an arm and fist!!  Makes me cringe just thinking about it.  And here’s something to think about….THIS was the “tame” one I felt I could write about on here without losing my lunch!  That should give you something to think about!  As my son always says…  “There’s a kink out there for absolutely everything.  And for each of those things, there are people who get off on it.”  After all my research, I believe it.  But while I’ve always been considered adventurous by friends, boyfriends and my husband.  I’m positively vanilla by some of these standards!  I now return you to your PG13 blog post 🙂

Do you have any advice for other writers?  

Don’t stop to worry about what your Mom, best friend, pastor, grandma etc will think about what you are writing.  Just write!  You can’t have all those “censors”inside your head and still write a good book!  Yes, some of you—your views, your true self etc will come across in your book.  That’s just part of being a writer.  But if you aren’t being true to yourself, or are just trying to write to please others, you won’t be able to write a good book.  Also, don’t try to write a “best seller”- just write the best damn book you can write.  It will find its audience.  And just remember that not everyone will love or even like your book.  That’s okay!  They don’t have to!  And my biggest advice!  Get your butt in the chair and write!  Every day if possible!  Set a schedule and try to stick to it.  I usually try to take Sunday’s off, but other than that I try to write every day.  Now sometimes life gets in the way, but I always build some slack time into my deadline schedule to allow for that.

Do you have anything specific that you want to say to your readers?

I hope this book gives you insight into the fetish/kink lifestyle and also brings you a story about both a woman and a man coming to terms with their past, and opening up to each other enough to trust and love.  And yes, Ihope you enjoy some really hot and steamy kink!

What inspired you to write your first book?  

I had always wanted to write and for years had dreamed about seeing a book with my name on the spine on the bookshelf at my local bookstore.  I had a friend who had psychic gifts and we had several conversations about how it worked, how he experienced things etc.  And that kicked my muse into high gear.  And because I had read so much science fiction, fantasy and romance. AND I’m a bit twisted…lol!!  I came up with a psychic serial killer who preys on women with untapped psychic potential.  But when he tries to push open the door to my heroine’s psychic powers (which is how he kills), her partial psychic powers that he unleashes are much more powerful than his and she breaks away.  Cue the sexy FBI profiler who hides his psychic powers on the job, but who is the best man to protect her.  Writing the sex scenes between two people who could read each others’ minds was both a challenge and a BLAST!!  🙂

Do you have a specific writing style?

I’ve been told I do, but I think of my style as a mish mash of styles that I’ve learned and built up over time.  I’ve written 16 books, and as of the 21st of July I will have published 15 of them.  I learn and grow with each and every book, and if you go back and read Into a Dangerous Mind (my first book) and then jump forward to My Obsession, which releases next month, I think you’ll see a HUGE difference in writing style.  Although I’m pretty sure my writing voice has stayed the same, or at least similar.

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Tina Gerow Talks Getting Kinky in a Room Full of Men

Is there anything you find particularly challenging in your writing?

With the BDSM, the challenge is to find new, fresh, fun things that I haven’t used before and keep the balance between romance, sex, suspense and secondary plots.  An even bigger challenge is just getting the butt in the chair and writing.  My son is off for the summer and hubby is off work for a few months.  Having them underfoot makes it tougher for me to tune out the world and get my kink on like clockwork like Ineed to!

Who is your favorite author and what is it that really strikes you about their work?  

I have MANY.  Ithink my all time favorite author has to be Jane Austen.  I love that she wrote stories back when women weren’t supposed to do that.  And while she did write about relationships, she also highlighted politics and the climate and culture of the time.  I could only hope that any of my books are as beloved and as relevant as hers a few hundred years after my death. 🙂

Do you have to travel much concerning your book(s)?

I used to.  Before my brain blowout Iattended the Romantic Times Conference every year and did several smaller conferences every year.  Since I no longer drive, and I’m still fully recovering from the AVM rupture fallout, I haven’t been to too many conferences in the last few years, but I hope to change that soon.  I’m planning to attend the Desert Dreams conference in April 2016 in Scottsdale, Arizona.

Who designed the covers?

For all my small press and New York published books the publisher designed my covers.  Ihad input into them, but they didn’t always USE my input.  Which is pretty normal in the business.  For my only self published book – Sleeping With Shadows, a paranormal romantic suspense, my good friend and critique partner, Kayce Lassiter designed my beautiful cover!

What was the hardest part of writing your book?

The hardest part for me before my brain blowout was always the middle.  Iusually had a good beginning and Ialready had the end in mind.  It was keeping the middle from lagging, and keeping the pacing, suspense and love connection moving that was the challenge.  AFTER my brain blowout, it’s much harder to keep all the details in my brain.  So I have spreadsheets and notes for everything.  I’ll brainstorm with my critique group, and if I don’t immediately write the scenes OR take really detailed notes, it leaks out of my brain and is lost.